Nekrogoblikon are getting ready to tour the UK on the Kerrang tour with Limp Bizkit, Crossfaith and Baby Godzilla, but before that, John Goblikon has an announcement for the fantasy tribes of Europe: a warning shot to troll poseurs, pirate imposters, ghouls, elves, gnolls, orcs, hobbits and gollums – he has summoned all trolls, pirates, elves, witches, orcs, gnolls, etc. to challenge them to a series of feats:
“Mortiis: I challenge you to a game of Connect 4, because you don’t look good at math. You remind me of myself, but with fewer friends.
Finntroll: let me remind you in case you forgot: GOBLINS ARE BETTER THAN TROLLS. I’ve already won whatever I was about to challenge you to.
Alestorm: I challenge you to a game of “kill the pirate,” also known as arm-wrestling. We shall see which scoundrel is stronger, goblin or pirate (clue: it’s not the pirate).
Troll: a band called Troll but who aren’t actually trolls? What is this impostery? I challenge you to drink. Only trolls could come close to keeping up with a goblin.
Trollfest: *see Finntroll
Children of Bodom: I don’t know what kind of creature a “bodom” is, but it sounds wimpy. I challenge you to a game of checkers. I love checkers.”
You heard the goblin. You’re toast.
Nekrogoblikon are seizing Europe as part of the Kerrang! Tour 2014 with Crossfaith, Baby Godzilla and Limp Bizkit. Are you ready? Keep an eye on the site for our review of the Manchester date and interview with Nekrogoblikon themselves!
08 February: Cardiff Uni Great Hall
09 February: Liverpool O2 Academy
11 February: Dublin Olympia
12 February: Bristol O2 Academy
13 February: Birmingham O2 Academy
15 February: Newcastle O2 Academy
16 February: Glasgow O2 Academy
17 February: Manchester Academy
19 February: Norwich The Nick Rayns LCR, UEA
20 February: Southampton Guildhall
21 February: London O2 Academy Brixton